One afternoon in the middle of a Birmingham heatwave, a woman walked into my studio armed with a handful of rings and a vision. After experiencing a horribly difficult time in life, she was ready to put the past firmly behind her.
As part of this new chapter, she was looking to create a piece of jewellery that represented independence, reinvention, and freedom - a reminder of what she'd overcome and a symbol of a fresh start.
This is the concept behind the divorce ring, which has been growing in popularity in recent years - thanks to certain celebs ushering in a new wave of jewellery.
Read on to find out:
- What a divorce ring actually is
- Which finger you should wear it on
- What it looks like
- Who tends to finance it
- What to do with rings after divorce
- When is the right time to make decisions about your wedding jewellery.
Let's get into it.
A trend or a movement?
More and more women (and it is mostly women, but not always) are opting to symbolise their new chapter in jewellery form.
A nod to their past, present, and future selves in jewellery form, allowing them to reclaim the parts of themselves they may have lost in the process of being someone's wife.
This is fascinating to me. As a jeweller, I spend a lot of my time creating rings that symbolise a union, but now I'm seeing the equal importance of pieces that celebrate individuality and independence.
And on that note, it's time we delved into the concept of a divorce ring further to understand why it's become so popular in recent times. What does it look like? What does it mean? And is it mandatory to wear it on your middle finger? Let's find out...
What is a divorce ring?
Divorce rings are pieces of jewellery bought new or repurposed from existing wedding jewellery to mark the end of a marriage. Sometimes referred to as 'rebirth' or 'metamorphosis' pieces, they represent new beginnings rather than endings.
A divorce may be a decision you have made yourself, something forced upon you or a mixture of difficult circumstances.
Either way, it is a significant life event that can cause you to take stock of where you've been and consider how you'd like the next chapter to look.
And while a lot of that process is emotional, there are of course some physical considerations - like what to do with your wedding, engagement and eternity rings, or even special earrings, bracelets and necklaces that were gifts from your ex and feel too sad or weird to wear now.
Is the middle finger mandatory?
Not at all - where you wear it is your choice entirely. However, there is apparently a sub-trend in the divorce ring community which sees wearers sporting it on their middle finger, or even referring to it as a "f-you" ring (!).
Most women choose to wear their divorce ring on a different finger or hand to their wedding band to represent empowerment and choice.
What does a divorce ring look like?
Again, it's completely your call.
However, the trend at the moment seems to be for chunkier, colourful everyday pieces to represent the start of a bold new era.
Who pays for a divorce ring?
Divorce rings are usually self-funded, because financial independence is a huge part of the trend.
Unlike an engagement ring that would typically be gifted by a partner, this one is all about your financial autonomy and freedom of choice.
Deciding what to do with your rings after divorce
The trend for divorce rings stems from the subject of what to do with your rings after a divorce, but of course, there's no right answer here.
You might want to put your rings in a drawer until you feel ready to decide, sell them, save them for your children, or fling them in the nearest body of water in a fit of rage (as a lifelong lover of jewellery, I can't consign the latter, but I understand how you might feel that way inclined!).
Most divorce rings repurpose the original metal and gemstones into a new piece, but you might prefer to sell them and use the money to buy something new. If you come to me for a new commission, I can offset the value of your old rings and put it towards a new design.
What feels empowering to one person may feel uncomfortable to another. The original ring, its stones and even the smallest design details can hold very different meanings for different people.
Above all, don't rush the decision and don't feel the need to do what people think you should do. This is your story and you're writing the next chapter.
Remodelling wedding rings into divorce rings
So, how do you go about remodelling a ring into something new?
It’s actually a very intricate process, one I detailed in this blog taking you behind the scenes of a remodelling project.
The precious metal may be reused, while diamonds and other gemstones can often be removed and reset. It doesn't even need to be turned into a new ring, either. Your rings could become:
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A pendant or necklace
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A pair of earrings
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A collection of stacking rings
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A piece incorporating additional stones or metal
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A completely new bespoke design.
Some people want the finished piece to look entirely different from their wedding jewellery. Others prefer to keep a recognisable element because it represents an important part of their life, their children or the person they were during that time.
Everything is equally valid.
A piece that reflects who you are now
Jewellery remodelling after divorce empowers you to take something that no longer feels right and make a conscious decision about what it becomes next.
The new design might represent independence, resilience, freedom or simply your own personal style. Perhaps your original ring was chosen many years ago and no longer feels like you. This can be an opportunity to create something you would choose for yourself now.
You may want to include meaningful design details or introduce a birthstone connected to you and/or your children. Alternatively, you may want a beautiful piece with absolutely no obvious symbolism at all, marking a fresh page in the story of your life.
It doesn't need to make a big, dramatic statement, either. How it looks and what it means is just for you.
Sensitive conversations and personal decisions
Discussing the jewellery from a marriage can bring up complicated emotions. You might feel sadness, relief, anger, uncertainty - or all of the above.
For me, the conversation behind the commission is just as important as the practical design process.
I take time to understand what you want to retain, what you would prefer to leave behind and which details carry particular significance. Something another person might barely notice could be the most important part of the piece to you. Nothing that matters to you will be dismissed as silly or insignificant.
We can discuss ideas at your pace and explore what may be possible without expecting you to arrive with a finished design or decision already in mind.
Should you sell your wedding band and engagement ring instead?
Maybe. Remodelling isn't right for everybody and that's okay too.
If you no longer want any connection to the original jewellery, you may decide to sell your rings and use the money towards a new piece. This gives you complete freedom over the materials, gemstones and design, while still transforming the value of the old jewellery into something chosen for your future.
It's worth getting an accurate valuation before making your decision. The resale value of jewellery can be lower than its original price, particularly because retail prices include craftsmanship and other costs beyond the raw materials.
Understanding your options can help you decide whether selling, remodelling or keeping the rings is the right choice for you.
When is the right time to remodel your rings?
There is no set timeline. You might feel ready soon after your divorce, or you may keep the rings safely stored for several years before deciding what to do. A significant birthday, a personal achievement or another change in your life might eventually feel like the right moment.
My remodelling clients are often women over 40, with many around the age of 60. At this stage in life, they may be reassessing what matters to them, making more confident decisions about their future and choosing jewellery that reflects who they have become.
The important thing is that the decision feels like yours.
A new piece of jewellery for a new beginning
Your old rings do not have to remain hidden away simply because they no longer represent your life as it is today.
Whether you remodel their materials or use their value to commission something new, they can become part of a piece that feels entirely your own. And you don’t have to refer to it as a divorce ring, either - although that’s a buzzword the media has embraced, you can think of it as your independence ring or whatever feels right for you.
If you're curious to explore the possibilities for your wedding band or engagement rings after divorce, please get in touch to arrange a sensitive, no-pressure conversation about your jewellery and the next chapter you'd like it to represent.
